Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Contrary Way - Day 15 Intentions

The Contrary Way
A 30 Day Guide to the Journey Back Home
by Sue Kenney

Day 15 - Intentions

I'm 370 kilometers from Santiago and I'm walking away from the destination thousands of pilgrims are walking to while retracing the steps I took almost 10 years ago. Yesterday I hit the wall and I'm not quite out of it yet. In a rowing race, when you reach this stage the best advice is to row through it. Don't stop. Don't think of the pain. With each foot I put in front of me I repeat the word: Camino. Camino. Camino. A mantra that gets me one step closer to Saint Jean Pied de Port, France. My intention for this walk hasn't been really clear, except to walk back to where I began this whole Camino journey. I know that in order to create I must be clear about what I want. I know that I can create an intention out of my state of being. An intention is an earnest desire, not a wish. It's stated in the present and begins with I AM. What is my state of being?

Over the past several days I developed a new way of writing, completely by accident. For many years I've been studying the co-relation between walking and creativity. On the Camino, I stopped to write my impressions of the pilgrims walking toward me though it disrupted the creative flow. Without thinking it through too much, one day I took out my handy Moleskin diary, folded the cover back and began to write while I walked. It was a little awkward at first. I found the intention of writing and the action of the movement forward reminded me of when I used to sleepwalk. In that state, I knew exactly what I was doing and where was going. Each footstep was placed with conscious intention, though I was actually focussed on getting something very important done. The creative action of writing my impressions as I walked, made it perfectly clear to me that my intention is to be creative. I wrote the formula that had worked for me many times in my life and repeated my intention everyday.

Be. Do. Have.
Be. My Intention. I am creative.
Do. An action. Walking and Writing.
Have. A Result. I am happy.

Later that day, two bicylists approached me. The man was out front calling back in a frustrated voice to the woman travelling about 50 meters behind him. He's speaking in a European language but I can't tell if it's Russian or Ukranian. He nods politely as he casually rides by me drinking from his water bottle. His bike is packed efficiently with a small pack on his back. The woman appears several minutes later, her green poncho blowing in the wind, even though the rain had stopped. She's exhausted, sweaty and unfocussed. She forces a kind hearted smile to me. There are two overpacked saddle bags barely clinging to the back. She wears a fully loaded day pack on her back. Her face strains as she peddles up a slight upgrade. I look at her with empathy and see myself. I often felt like I needed to take on more of the load than was expected because I was torn between being a Mother and a career woman. By taking on more of the family load than I could realistically carry, I believed it would make me more of a Mother. I was proving something to myself first through my actions, instead of my intentions. Eventually I learned it didn't work that way and I had a choice about what I took on in my life. My choice was to serve the universe. I could do this by being a Mother and doing what a mother does, creatively.

This woman was also carrying way to much weight in her life, that was obvious. What was she choosing? I wondered why the man who was riding with her didn't help her. What was he choosing? What are you choosing to carry in your backpack? Does it align with what you are intending to be in the world. Take a look and make a choice. Look around you. In your house, your car, your workspace, your closets and drawers. Let go and give away anything that doesn't serve you.

Tomorrow is about a Lesson from the Labrynth.

Love and light,
Author of Canadian best-selling book My Camino presently in development as a feature film.
Facebook My Camino/Suseya
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